I want to stare at the moon with you for hours,

I want to kiss you as the sun rises every day,

I want to wake up and smell the flowers,

With you next to me as I lay,

I want to grow old with you and tell our stories to those who will listen,

I want to stare into those eyes and say “i do” while they glisten,

I want to hug you long and hard every time I need a reminder,

That you are here for me in this cold world that I’ve gone blind to,

I want to be next to you as I take my last breath, 

Because you are my world, my everything that I have left,

I want you to know I’ve never known love before,

Then I met you and now nothing I knew makes sense anymore ❤️

The air outside is bitter and cold. But it still doesn’t compare to the ice I feel in my heart.

I miss you and your soggy eggs on Sunday mornings. 

I sit waiting by the door for you to come home from work, only to realize you will never open that front door again.

I miss you and your soggy eggs on Sunday mornings. 

I often close my eyes and hear that booming voice of yours saying “How come I love you so much?” But I open them and you are no where to be found.

I miss you and your soggy eggs on Sunday mornings. 

The key is still sitting in the draw to your car that says #1 Dad, but everyone else but you will start it up again.

I miss you and your soggy eggs on Sunday mornings. 

Your closet is still full of your clothes that still smell like you. I hug them sometimes and pretend its all okay.

I miss you and your soggy eggs on Sunday mornings. 

I wish you were still here Dad because I never got to tell you this.. You really suck at making eggs. But I would eat those eggs every minute of every day if I could just see you one more time.

I miss you. and your soggy eggs on Sunday mornings. 

-Your sweet girl.

2015 is winding down.. For some that is a relieving feeling.  Because maybe this year didn’t bring what you exactly expected and you are hoping for greater things to come this upcoming year. For others it may bring feelings of bitterness and saddness because of how quickly time is moving and you wish it would never end.

For me this time of year always brings me to reflect on the memories I have made and reminisce. And I also like to think about where I started the year and how I’m now ending it.

I like to think of evey year that passes as a chapter in my life. This being my 20th and favorite chapter so far I figured I would dedicate a blog post to my favorite memories.

NYE: 

I started off this year in the best way possible. Surrounded by loved ones, cannolis and alcohol. (A&N wedding) 

JANUARY:

My best friend and cousin came home from the military to see me and we bought these amazing matching shirts.  

FEBRUARY: 

My mother and I hit up Broadway to see Fish in the Dark! And enjoyed some of favorite treats on the way home.. 

 

I also escaped the snow to Puerto Rico with some great people and made some great memories. 

MARCH:
 I started on my road to weight loss.                  183 pounds- now 150 pounds. 

 

Also got in some play time with the bunny himself with my favorite Big Ang. 

APRIL:

 

I got the chance to spend Easter with my beautiful family and spend some much needed quality time together. 

 

The weather finally warmed up a bit and I enjoyed every second of it with my feet in the sand. 

MAY:

 

I found my love for fondue in every way with my work wife. 

 

The first beach day of the year on Strong Island with my fav peeps. 

JUNE:

 

I closed my chapter at the Red Door Spa. 💋

 

And partied on a rooftop for my brothers birthday. 

JULY:

 

I hosted & cooked a birthday dinner for my favorite man in the universe. 

 

And found my true love for wine at Refuge. 

AUGUST:

 

 I entered the happiest place in the world…

  

And spent my birthday with my gem. 

 

The best friends club in full force. This night was epic for many reasons. 

SEPTEMBER:

 

Aunt Gigi and Ang hosted a cooking show after a lot of wine was served.

I also guarded people’s lives that night. 

I finally saw results and didn’t look like a mother cow anymore. 

The last beach day of the summer with my dude on Strong Island. 

 Oak beach at sunset

 

Drunk in the grass with Hib. 

Spent days off in Montauk with someone special. 

 

And I found my love for writing again. 

OCTOBER:

 

Pumpkin (pic)king with my men. 

 

Truth or dare night with the Best Friends Club

 

Last minute costumes that had a great outcome. 

 

That caption tells all. 

 

HALLOWEEN: Monsoon. (BAHBL) ((Before all hell broke loose))

NOVEMBER:

 

Refuge+200$ sushi trip with bae.

John made me try a Pickle Back shot

 

And then Billy had to carry me home…

 

A very crowded, sweaty TGE. (Jackie went missing as usual)

 

Dysfunctional 💕 Thanksgiving Day 

DECEMBER: (so far) 

 

One photo that looks like two. (Thanks to the annoyed bartender for this one) 

 

Game day with my baes and wine. (Sarah and Ry’s new pad) 

 My favorite new purchase of a fish-eye lens

  

 
   

 Christmas Eve-Eve @ Jackies: A night full of laughter and eggnog. 

  
Christmas Eve- HBD Jesus. 

  La famiglia

  

 
   
Christmas Day 💋✅ 

   

   
  

Joey’s Birthday 🤘🏻

  

    
   NYE: FANELLI HOUSE HOLD 

This was a year for the books to say the least. Thank you for all who took part in making it so. 

2016 let’s see what you have in store..

I feel so lost in this generation.

I seriously forget that I am now living in a generation where it is every man for themselves and that I need to be more selfish vs. being selfless.

Being selfless is second nature to me though… I would so rather give to others than receive on any day. But I forget that I need to change my ways of thinking just to survive in this world.

I want to know where we went wrong, or was the world always like this and I was just too young to realize?

It’s seriously fucked up that I feel like I need to change who I am just so I can be “normal” in society. I feel like I am forgetting who I am.

Like, why can’t I speak whats on my mind and tell you that I think you’re being a complete asshole without fearing repercussions? Why must I bite my tongue to please your narrow minded ears?

I think its time we all stop FORGETTING  and start REMEMBERING who we really are and take back what should’ve always been ours..

Freedom… In every sense of the word.

♥ This rant was brought to you by a fed up 20 year old.